RIGHTEOUS RULES AND LOONY LAWS, COME ON!

The following post was written by Fizzfan, from the U.K. Thanks, Fizz!

RIGHTEOUS RULES AND LOONY LAWS.COME ON!

WE'RE EXPERIENCING A BIT OF A HEATWAVE AT THE MOMENT AND ONE PARTICULAR RECENT NEWS ARTICLE MADE ME RATHER HAPPY.

A group of teenage boys confounded the school rules of not being allowed to wear shorts by all turning up in skirts. 

Slam dunk to the boys!!!

Things like this put a big smile on my face because I'm a bit of a rule breaker when it comes to utter nonsense and people in authority relying on them without sense or reason.

Latest update is that through media exposure of their incredibly unfair ruling, the school has decided to change the rule from next year!

WHY NEXT YEAR!?!  THEY'RE STILL BEING IDIOTS!!!

It would have been sooooo much better to have just smiled, congratulated the boys on their imagination and ingenuity and immediately given them the thumbs up to wearing shorts. 

Anyway, it got me thinking about other stupid rules which led me to discovering these lovely laws of utter lunacy.

ALASKA - (Clearly a serial killers dream State)

Persons may not live in a trailer as it is being hauled across the city.

AND 

Persons may not allow “attractive nuisances” to exist. ???!

AND 

In a place aptly named Tombstone, it is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.

 

ARIZONA AND OKLAHOMA 

It is illegal to have a sleeping donkey in your bathtub after 7 pm.

 

CALIFORNIA

No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

Who exactly are they gonna charge if this law is broken???

CHICAGO

It is against the law to eat in a place that's on fire. 

Was someone once so enthusiastic about roasts they decided to experiment on themselves?

CONNETICUT

In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.

Well that's a weight off my mind.

FLORIDA

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

Did someone once dream up an excuse for not buying a ticket by writing, "But I couldn't get one, there was an elephant tied to the meter and it trumpeted at me and I had to run away!"........So the person reading this will have thought,  Phwrerrgghh, what nonsense, I'm going to double your fine for making up this ridiculous story........!???      But wait a minute, what if there are people with pet elephants parking them for free?......You can't be too careful, this could be a tidy little money spinner......."Maud! Make a note to bring elephants up at our next meeting".

AND 

It's illegal to fart in a public place after 6 pm on a Thursday.

 

AND 

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal!

Mind you, you can never be too careful. The numbing effects of a few Jaeger Bombs n Tequila Slammers and those old beer gogglescould make a mobile pin cushion look very attractive indeed.

Two drunk Russian tourists did try it out in 2009 and needed medical treatment to remove some quills that had become rather attached to them. They escaped the full force of the law by flying home where further treatment of soothing ointments was continued.

AUSTRALIA

TAKE NOTE CATH.....

Only a qualified electrician is allowed to change a light bulb in Victoria, Australia

Apparently, rebels who defy this law could receive a fine of up to $10 

AND IN CASE YOU KNOW ANY CHAPS WITH A PENCHANT FOR FROCKS 

Men are free to cross-dress, just as long as their dresses are not strapless.

(Yes, bare man shoulders should definitely be against the law and anyway a strap is always so good at drawing the eye away from all that stubble n hairy chests)

BONKERS BRITAIN

In Britain, it is illegal to import potatoes into England or Wales if you have reasonable cause to believe that they are Polish in case they have ring rot. 

 

AND

Fancy some Salmon for the Halibut? Well best Mullet over or you could get a visit from the Frying Squad because it's illegal to handle a Salmon in suspicious circumstances?

ONE FOR THE LADIES...

Since 1837 women have been allowed to bite off a man's nose if he kisses her against her will.

RIGHT ROYAL RIGHTS 

IF you're exercising your dog and some Royalty happen to stroll by with their pooches, head for the hills before your mutt sniffs any a romance in the air because a law enacted by George I states that: "The severest penaltys will be suffered by any commoner who doth permit his animal to have carnal knowledge of a pet of the Royal house."

AND LASTLY BUT VERY IMPORTANTLY, NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO DIE IN THE HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT.

(Thus far it has warded off all attempts for anyone to do this, but everyone is still eagerly awaiting the first corpses trial)

DENMARK

Fancy naming your child something unique? Well think again because you can only give your child a name that has been approved by the Ministry of Ecclesiastical Affairs. If your name isn't on their list you have to apply to them to get special permission.

In France those party poopers won't let you marry a dead person or name a pig Napoleon. 

In Hong Kong there’s a law that allows a wife to kill her husband if she finds him cheating as long as she does it with her bare hands.

SWITZERLAND 

Flushing the toilet after 10pm in apartments is illegal.

I wonder if nearby house owners run emergency rental schemes?

AND FINALLY.....

AFRICAN POLICE WILL LITERALLY BELIEVE ANYTHING

2009 - Police in Nigeria held a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery. 

Vigilantes seized the goat, saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into an animal to escape after trying to steal a Mazda 323.

Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed said.

'We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody.   !!!!!

No I kid you not (urggghhh) Belief in witchcraft is widespread in Nigeria and local residents even went to the police station to check the goat out. 

It was also photographed in one nationalnewspaper on its knees next to a pile of straw.

 

(Don't you just despair of kids these days)

AND FOR ALL THOSE REBELS OUT THERE, HERE'S THE FOO FIGHTERS WITH THEIR AWESOME 'THE PRETENDER' 

SECURITY BLANKET

"I used to get high for a living" by John Butler

Excerpt:

"I used to get high for a living

Believing everything that i saw on my tv

I used to get high for a living

Eating all the bullshit food that they sold me

I used to get high for a living

Thinking that my destiny was out of my control

I used to get high for a living

There's lots of different reasons and I'll tell you so

Got links of the cheney

Getting crazy, getting lazy with their foreign relations

Starting wars, closing doors

Trying to bring about one quicker, man, revelations

Economic rational calling fouls with the workers

Just trying to make it pay

Cost cutting, head butting

Big business do what they like and you do what they say

What's wrong get along, just prolong all the thoughts

You got going on, on the inside

Appease, stand at ease, just try to please

All the apathy that you're trying to hide

How now brown cow

Did we get from this standing place......

And now we're kneeling

'Til then my friend you must contend with the monster that you're feeding."

I feel scared, that there's a war coming. One with nuclear bombs. I said to a friend, I might just get into bed and pull the covers over my head. 

What security "blanket" do you have for coping with fear?

 

Security blanket Yellow duck, sold at Ravelry site. 

 I know my hubby likes to read too many books. Library, thrift shop (op shop), fétes, anywhere he can get them, are called upon to satisfy his insatiable appetite for any ripping yarn that will take him out of the here and now. Meanwhile I'm saying, how about mowing the lawn?

Some people have alcohol, some drugs, gambling, I remember reading a magazine article about the fans that go to every performance of a chosen musical, wherever they can get to it. Of course they know every word. Tickets to see musicals are not cheap. So there must be a payoff, in " happiness", they can't be thinking about the real world while they are feeding their addiction. 

Ancient Rome used to put on gladiator sports in great stadiums, to distract the populace. It was thought "bread and circuses" would stop the people from rioting. Australians don't go for rioting much. Maybe because we have a stadium sport too, called football. The Aussie rules version is an infectious disease:

 

Many people find religion to be helpful. Mine has helped me all my life. The communists described religion as "the opium of the people". 

 

Then there are the shopaholics. Of course, if they buy too much, they then have to worry about where to put it all, and how to pay the bills?

I thought about security blankets we all have variations of, when I saw the link at the bottom of this post. It's about an orphaned disabled goat, and what the carers put on it to soothe it's extreme anxiety. A must read, on the cuteness scale, it's a 12 out of 10. 

But first:

Here's the must see article, please come back afterward and leave your comments below.

anxious goat link

Matthew 6:25-34 From the Bible:

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ..."