Friday 14 April 2017

ST PETER PART 5- The fear in the garden


The fear in the garden.


Thanatophobia *

Fear in the garden sits visceral,
lead fear that it come to an end.

It's real to her grave blurring blue eyes,
this imagined rough rending, not tend.

Oh what if she could spurn vacating
this existence to pass from this life?

For leaving the wonderschoon **  Eden
feels worse than the absence of strife.

She does not want ceasing of troubles.
She doesn't seek blessed release.

It's fear that life must one day compost
and glimpsing the blue sky will cease.

To her there's no heaven so wondrous
as the mighty trees leaves, rakes her brain,

for to leave them she terrified trembles
and cries out to God to remain.

I too wish you  immortal raptures,
terrestrial though they may be, 
for my hope is now hovering earthwise
where your mood is to talk unto me.

Copyright: Running on Empty

* Fear of dying

** Beautiful

Tree trunk at night 1:


Tree trunk at night 2

Matthew 26:36-46New International Version (NIV)


36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”
39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter.41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”
43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

Tree trunk at night 3

In the last year or so , I have had to face my own mortality in a real way. In medical episodes, it takes on a real fear, that I may not be around to protect my daughter. I pray to a big iron cross we have on the wall, or if I'm out, I shut my eyes. When the symptoms are over, and life returns to something like normal, I go back to my previous desire, that I not live to old age, but old enough to see her married and happy. 

Tree trunk at night 4

Compare that relatively pedestrian experience to a person fighting cancer. Battling,  deciding to live every moment that she has left, whether it be a day or a month or a year. I have a friend who decided to do that without calling in much support, not to make a fuss. I don't think I could have that kind of unselfish courage.  In the above video and bible verse, we see that Jesus has to fight his fear of impending death alone. It is dark. Peter, not for the last time, lets him down. "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" applies to the sleeping disciples, but also to the terrified Jesus himself. 

Tree trunk at night 5

When I think of the anguish he went through that night, when it is said he shed "tears of blood", I am reminded of those other innocent victims, those people beheaded in recent years, by ISIS. In order for photographs and videos to be taken, with their executioners standing behind them, sufficient time must elapse for them to go through unimaginable mental torture, before death releases them. 

"Oh, Saint Peter, at the gates of heaven
Won't you let me in
I never did no harm
I never did no wrong
Oh, Gabriel, let me blow your horn, let me blow your horn
Oh, I never did, did no harm
I've only been this young once
I never thought I'd do anybody no wrong
No, not once
Oh, I did somebody some good
Somebody some good
Oh, did somebody some good
I must have did somebody some good
Oh, I believe I did
I see the smiling faces
I know I must have left some traces
And I see them in the streets
And I see them in the field
And I hear them shouting under my feet
And I know it's got to be real
Oh, Lord, deliver me
All the wrong I've done
You can deliver me, Lord
I only wanted to have some fun
Hear the angels marching, hear them marching, hear them marching
Hear them marching, the' marching"

Excerpt from Led Zeppelin "In my time of dying".

13.19 mins, but oh so awesome.


The soldiers came to arrest Jesus, in the garden, led by Judas. The disciples were naturally upset.

John 18:10-11King James Version (KJV)

10 Then Simon Peter having a sword drew it, and smote the high priest's servant, and cut off his right ear. The servant's name was Malchus.
11 Then said Jesus unto Peter, Put up thy sword into the sheath: the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?

Then Jesus healed the servant's ear, good as new,  because he was a nice bloke, and meekly allowed himself to be led off to his trial (s). Of course, he could have flown away or something, but that wasn't part of the grand plan.  Because sometimes, you have to have the patience to wait things out to their destined conclusion. Peter didn't have patience, but he would by the end. 

The next instalment of Peter's adventures will be up with this one, so stay tuned. Your comments, as always, are welcomed, below.

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